In late July of 2006, the Pittsburgh Steelers were heading into their training camp at Saint Vincent College in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. The previous season they beat the NFC champion, Seattle Seahawks, to claim their 5th Super Bowl, so the training camp was buzzing. I was a 10 year old kid, very…
This is a student’s story of visiting a Steelers training camp when he was a young boy. I am not a sports fan myself, but because this writer told the story from a child’s perspective, capturing the wonder and excitement around him, I was able to get caught up in his excitement as well. I really enjoyed the sensory imagery used in this post, describing the experience of “squeezing” past crowds of people, and hearing the “buzzing” of the crowds.
The author also built momentum in this story by giving it form and structure—he had a clear beginning, middle, and end to the story and he kept giving the reader cues like, “little did I know that this was not going to be the best part of the day.” This is what made the post a story rather than just a description or collection of facts, and it was a very good one at that! Kudos!